Believe in yourself

You know, it's hard to want something with every fiber of your being and not have the guts to obtain it and to fight every devil in your life and every ghost of your past and come through it all and say....No....I won't give in to temptation and I won't give in to feeling, or desire or want, or lust. I will fight and I will come through this a champ of all meaning.

Life becomes an empty hollow from where there is no escape. You reach this precipice from where the only ways to go are up or down. You have to figure out whether you want to fall deeper into the pit or you want to claw yourself out and move upwards and slowly become the person that no one thought you could be.

I know it.

I believe it.

But it is one thing to believe in something and it is completely another to actually make it happen. One of the greatest setbacks in my life was that I never listened to my parents even when I knew that they were right, and the consequences always turned out the same way.

Pain, regret and the numbness that comes with the realization that once again you have succumbed to the demons that exist only to remind you of the worthless, foul and imminently useless thing that you are becoming. Once again, the voice of those that love you, those that only want to see you rise to the top and believe in yourself have been drowned out by the voices of your subconscious telling you that it is ok to give in one more time because it won't make a difference.

What your subconscious says couldn't be farther from the truth.

And slowly a point arises where you have fallen so deep into the depths of despair that even the loved ones in your life no longer see you as a worthy enough cause to fight for.

That, my friend is rock bottom. From here on, the only things that exist are you, the demons and the little tiny flame, spark of will power left in you that only you can rekindle.

Believe me, that spark, that flame, no matter how small it becomes will never go out completely. Even if it feels like life has become one dark hole from where you cannot return, I assure you, it is not so. That flame is always there, no matter how small it is burning.

Please, rekindle the flame, burn the demons, and assure yourself once again that no one has control of your life, except for you.

Be the person you want to be, the person that you think you cannot be, the person your parents and everyone else has given up on.

It will not be an easy task. Many stones will come your way, many of them boulders that will scorn you and threaten to crush you. You MUST NOT GIVE IN.

Believe in yourself.