Twists and Turns

Life is the most exciting alley of twists and turns that one can ever traverse. It remains to be seen, however, how willing the being is to be manipulated by the winds of adversity which blow with tenacious intent upon he who endeavors to prove that nothing can divert the one-tract mind of a determined young mind. And yet, it is precisely that feeling of being dominated, pushed towards an ending, a finale that one had not written for oneself that causes the determination to be molded, blown into something so much more passionate, and indiscernible.

Never doubt that it is that unwillingness to go along with the rules that society dictates, the confines of perfection that makes heads turn, and allows you to be so set apart from the others of your set. Be strong, and confidant, that the ease, and beauty present in you, is one that was never again made.

Crytallize

In all the years of growing up, becoming a woman, slowly and as surely as time moves on without a care as to who abides by the clock and who doesn’t, many things crystallize in our minds, all at once. Though I do not stand here to enumerate my many feelings, it feels quite pleasant to release frustrations and fears which plague me, and others I’m sure, mercilessly.

However, to deal with those absurd doubts in a logical, and statistically understandable manner could not be more unappealing to me than had someone placed a dish of some unthinkable delicacy beneath my nose that caused a wave of nausea to rise like a tide in my being. I sometimes feel that life has something to offer me, which I am undeserving of.

One’s parents will always believe that only a prince is sufficient for their daughter, and that is what the Almighty has hidden from the prying eyes of society. But it is up to the daughter, being the pragmatic girl that she is, to twirl her head around the idea, and then shake her head and say,

“Stop dreaming, my beloved”.

And yet, even knowing this, there are those out there, poised, beautiful young women, who, despite knowing what the world may have to offer, still dream of that knight in shining armor, the one who so capably can support them on his strength, and will, and who will never tire of looking at them with love, and adoration in his heart, and eyes, but at the same time, will have an inflexible will, which only they will be able to bend. It seems a fanciful dream to most, I’m sure. And yet, where would the world be without dreams, and imaginings of beautiful castles, and wonderful endings.

As cruel and demanding as the world is, it has allowed for sheer moments of beauty and awe-inspiring happiness to creep in slowly, and brighten the darkness which threatens to completely overtake it. I refuse to give in to pragmatism, to believe that right, and proper are the only two ways to live, and that giving in to bouts of complete insanity will never be considered right. After all, without those wonderful quirks, how would we be, well, we?

It seems odd, to be writing about princes, and right and wrong, but perhaps, on the inside, there is always another person hidden, whom we try so hard to hide. I refuse not to let my other side be given freedom. If we do not accept all of what we are, then we do not accept who we are, which amounts to not being happy with ourselves.

For those out there who are able to look out the window in the morning, and laugh in sheer artless joy over absolutely nothing more than the sun rising, cheers to you!

Cheers!

Tempestuousness

8/6/2009 3:12:17 AM

And here I go again. Although this is a state of mind that I attempt to avoid most of the time, there are moments when the winds of tempestuousness sweep through and form an iron grip around any sane mental faculties that I claim I possess, and in those times, I surrender, as I believe we all do, to the frisson of excitement that runs so terrifyingly up and down my spine, without giving the slightest thought to the consequences of the actions that it is asking me to perform.

I feel as though the world continuously swings about me, a glorious pendulum, freely moving upon its axis, announcing silently and proudly to the universe that it is not going to halt its motion of movement for anyone. And yet, I stand still, allowing waves of indecision, confusion and brashness to buffet me about, until the sky and the earth hold no anchor for me, and I am only another petal floating in the wind, resigned to wait for my fate to decide the course.

Too many times have I decided to uphold the modicum of propriety as is set down by my predecessors, and yet, this feat, no small one, lay rest assured, has always gone unnoticed and uncommented on by those who should glance my way and then glance back, that second stare fraught with naught but awe and amazement. And yet, upon the dashing of these hopes, I rise again, attempting to bring some semblance and completion to the last remaining tattered folds of my vanity and pride. Reason flees, leaving in its wake only a hollow depression, which has yet to be filled.

Come home, stranger.
Come home, untangler of my thoughts.
Come home and tell me, what do I do with this breaking heart of mine?

Knock Knock

Just in case you get confused as to why I had 3 completely abstract thoughts in the span of one day;

I didn't. I write these at night, in the peace and solitude of my room, and to some extent, my anonymity. Seems much more peaceful to write without censure, then to write with corrections. I'll make sure the dates are in front of each post so that all you out there know when it was written.