Vent, Precious Soul
At the moment, the biggest problem is for me to figure out precisely who it is that my temper is directed towards. It could be him, her, both (some warped combination of the two that I myself cannot explain) or neither, meaning that it is something that happened before, and these two have presently become the most convenient outlets for me to vent at. Life is never a walk in the park, but the moments when it becomes a climb up Mount Everest, a couple of swear words will always make their way into the equation as a delightful prelude.
I despise my anger towards everybody, my cynicism, my sarcasm. But despite all I do, there`s nothing more than to hate, indiscriminately, until all anger had hopefully dissipated, and all that is left is the hollow shell of what fury made. My anger shall not be reigned in, nor shall it be tamped down.
If bias was a crime, I`m sure we would be in jail by now for all the bias that we produce within society. The pain that this boy caused me is, although oblivious to him, completely open, and more so painful to me.
When a person is at the end of their wits, and they have no patience left in their mind, body, or soul, normally, a sane person would not ever attempt to reason with you at that time. However, my shoulder, my family, to be exact, is not completely what I would call sane. To say the obvious, that then means that I don`t view myself as completely well-equipped. I suppose that quirk is what allows me to see through others` facades so quickly.
And then there are times when people come and say things that not only irritate me to no avail, but they also goad me into saying something so sarcastic, that there is naught the other person can do other than almost crying from the satirical whiplash. Though at the time, I may feel either remorse, or a grim delight, later, it most always is a well-deserved comment that they were on the receiving end of, and it serves to remind them that I am not a pushover. It is, in its own twisted way, a blessing.
I despise my anger towards everybody, my cynicism, my sarcasm. But despite all I do, there`s nothing more than to hate, indiscriminately, until all anger had hopefully dissipated, and all that is left is the hollow shell of what fury made. My anger shall not be reigned in, nor shall it be tamped down.
If bias was a crime, I`m sure we would be in jail by now for all the bias that we produce within society. The pain that this boy caused me is, although oblivious to him, completely open, and more so painful to me.
When a person is at the end of their wits, and they have no patience left in their mind, body, or soul, normally, a sane person would not ever attempt to reason with you at that time. However, my shoulder, my family, to be exact, is not completely what I would call sane. To say the obvious, that then means that I don`t view myself as completely well-equipped. I suppose that quirk is what allows me to see through others` facades so quickly.
And then there are times when people come and say things that not only irritate me to no avail, but they also goad me into saying something so sarcastic, that there is naught the other person can do other than almost crying from the satirical whiplash. Though at the time, I may feel either remorse, or a grim delight, later, it most always is a well-deserved comment that they were on the receiving end of, and it serves to remind them that I am not a pushover. It is, in its own twisted way, a blessing.
posted by Truth at 8:19 AM
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