Thoughts

You know, people say love like it's such an easy term to throw around ; as though it's not a phenomenon that should leave you stunned and in awe, but more, something that is as carefree as the appearance of dew on a rose petal in the morning. I feel sometimes, as though there is wrong with one of us. Either me, or the world. Either I take it far too seriously, or the world takes it far too lightly. How is it that you explain something like this? The feeling you get every night, that tingle in your limbs, and the constriction in your tummy. The smile that blossoms on your face, after lightly playing with your lips, teasing them until they have no choice but to accede to its wishes. The far away glance in your eyes, that you can hide from everyone, except yourself. The wistfulness that pervades your being when you see a love story, fictional, or otherwise. How do you convince yourself to wait, to be patient, for the one for whom all this is meant will come, as God has meant him to, and he will be all this and more .... he will turn to leave and your heartbeart will stop, he will look at you and your mind will go blank, your hands and feet will become numb, and he'll know exactly what he's doing to you, but he won't stop, because through some miracle, some ethereal work of God, as is everything else in this universe.... you....plain, little, old you, will make him feel the exact same way, and his carrying on will be his revenge for what you are doing to him every second of the day, whether he is with you, or not. Then comes the fear. It is well and good to have romantic notions, to paint pictures, close your eyes, and see it come to life before your very eyes, but what happens when you wake up, open those eyes, and the same dreams that you so lovingly cultivated and nourished, the same hopes that grew to alarming proportions, and that were help so delicately by you so as not to break, were shattered, with no thought as to how you would survive? How do you move on, and see beauty, when despair, and sadness pervade your soul? I wonder time and again, how it is that people are able to raise their heads high, and walk with a constant stride.