Unveiling? - October 18th

It could be called, and most probably is, a childish thought to dream of he who has not come, but what am I to do when he has the ability to dominate my thoughts night and day? He never leaves my dreams, my feelings, my heart, my mind. He`s always there. He owns me. Every heartbeat is now whispering his name. I hate feeling so vulnerable, but that theory that my mother had? The one that says that every woman is weak when it comes to a man, her man? Well, as much as I`d like to deny it, it`s true. He occupies every waking moment, and he owns my dreams. Why then, does he not show himself and save me the torment? How long must I wait to be safely ensconced in his arms? I feel as though the moment he arrives, I shall feel as if something in me is liberated, something that is chained up right now, and begging for release. Being cold and indifferent, and attempting to be invincible is not hard, believe me. The only hard part is hiding your true nature. That part of you that you never let out, because once you release it, your biggest fear is that it won`t agree to go back, and it won`t let your safer nature cover for it. What is one like me supposed to do when every sane thought is yearning for this unnamed fellow who refuses to show himself and remains behind the curtains, waiting for God`s cue to make his Grand Entrance?